It was probably 12 or 13 years ago when I started to become close with a wonderful girlfriend of mine. At the time, I was pretty quiet with new people and struggled with anxiety. I loved that she was so open about her own anxiety and quirks. I was drawn to her like a magnet as I found that side of her so fun, freeing, and comforting. It was a revelation to me that someone could become more dear to you because of their imperfections. It became a goal for me to overcome my need to look like I had my crap together and admit that I was imperfect. For people who know me, this is probably surprising as I tend to jabber away non-stop, but you don’t see what I hold back.
Today I went to my Design Your Life class and had my moment of Blessing that I am still soaking in. Usually I hold back from sharing in that class because I am so emotional and it is terribly embarrassing. Well, after my seminar yesterday where I was also very emotional, something must have loosened up inside of me. I shared my story about the difficult conversation I had for my homework assignment. Naturally, I started to tear up and told the group how I find it so embarrassing to expose myself that way. After I was done the instructor was so sweet. She said, “I know that was hard for you, but I feel so much closer to you after hearing that.” A little ray of light shone down upon me!
Right now I feel I should buy stock in Kleenex and stay home for a few years. But, I know that what has loosened up is worth letting go of completely. I also know that sharing with the group today gave some people the same comfort my friend gave me years ago. Just paying it forward…