One of the main goals in starting this blog is to share my vision for the Life and Friendship seminars. I have decided to start with a bit about the evolution of the whole concept. I am going to attempt to start at the beginning and hit the key points along the way.
Growing up I often felt like a bit of a shadow. Always hovering around watching and listening. I see now that I was just as interested in what wasn’t being said and in how these people were connecting. I would imagine being in their shoes and how it would feel to be loved, hated, teased, adored and how they came to be in that position. It was probably a little creepy and I clearly remember one girl on the school bus who definitely did not appreciate my attention.
As I got older I continued to watch people but a new dimension was added. More than a bit of self-doubt and dare I say self-hatred came into play. I would see the great qualities that others possessed but none of my own. I am sure most people can identify with feeling this way at some point in their lives. Eventually I became overwhelmed by anxiety and had difficulty connecting with others. I had few close relationships and knew something had to change.
Gradually it began to dawn on me that I was the one who had decided I was a shy, nervous, insecure person. I could decide to be different. Again my observations of others changed. As I observed these amazing qualities in other people I would stop and think, “Do I want to be like that?” “What would it feel like to be that confident?” “How would I walk if I felt great about my body?” I began to try on these different qualities and see how they felt on me. I felt what it would be like to feel this way for a short time. Some of these ways of being felt great to me and I wanted to keep them. This involved a little more than just pretending. Now I had to think what would I need to change to make this stick.
I didn’t realize it at the time but this process was a powerful lesson for me. I began to discover the powerful potential inside of me and to begin to let go of the jealousy and insecurity that had me locked in a place where I could never feel good enough. I also found my lifelong habit of observing others had honed my skills. I had developed a strong ability to see gifts and talents in those around me and to imagine new possibilities for them. This sparked the idea that groups of women in a supportive, fun and open atmosphere could help each other let go of doubt and begin to imagine the possibilities.