Baby steps that manifest big changes

I’ve never seen Tony Robbins live, but I have watched a lot of his videos, and even on a recording that man can get me fired up! A world-class expert in making change happen, Tony talks a lot about getting into your peak state to create massive change and accomplish your goals. I imagine that peak state as a full-bodied, electric aliveness, approaching the border of mania. It’s supernova energy that lights you up and gives you tons of momentum, but that level of output isn’t unsustainable. At least it isn’t for me. 

Don’t get me wrong, that peak state has its time and place. But I get overwhelmed when my enthusiasm gets too big for too long. It’s an ungrounded, exhaustion that usually requires deep rest and restoration. Instead of lighting the world on fire, I’m under the covers with a big bag of popcorn and the remote. 

I’m more of a baby-step-it-’til-you-make-it type which, for me and most of my clients, is a sustainable, realistic, and healthy way to make lasting change happen.

Here are three ways you can baby-step your way to big change:

1. Understand how you want to feel

When you’re trying to do things differently, a small step that makes a huge difference is taking a few breaths and asking yourself, how would it feel to be the person who did this? Feelings have the power to immediately change thoughts and to incite momentum. 

I’m normally a fairly passive person, a live-and-let-live kind of gal. On a surprisingly frigid July day in San Francisco, I was waiting in line for a trolly with my husband and my small children. These two friendly women in front of us graciously let us get on before them because our kids were cold. After we were situated, the trolley driver shouted out that two more people could board. The ladies started to board but he refused to let them because they’d given up their spot… well, I lost it! I yelled at that driver and I refused to let anyone else get on the trolley. It was quite a scene. We laugh about it to this day because it was so unlike me, but that emotion swept me up into action before I even thought about it.

You’ve done this before when you’ve mentally rehearsed for a difficult conversation or presentation. It’s a hack that helps generate momentum and confidence. That’s because whatever you’re feeling right now is your experience. When you create the feelings of the experience you want to have, you are experiencing it. Once you’ve felt it, your brain starts believing it’s happened, and your resistance diminishes. 

2. Listen to what’s happening in your head

Your mind is talking all of the time, but usually, you’re not consciously listening. If you’re like most people, that’s like having the doom and gloom channel playing in the other room. It’s in there squawking away, pumping low-grade garbage, fear, and worry directly into your subconscious all day long. 

Stop. Listen to the thoughts that are running through your head. Understand the energy or tone of your thoughts. Usually, they’re fearful, “You’re going to fail, and then everyone will be so disappointed in you.”  Or, they are self-doubt, “You don’t know what you’re doing, no one is going to believe in you”.  You don’t need to validate why you’re having these thoughts or try and talk yourself out of them. That’s not the baby-step way.

Instead, feel that emotion. It can take practice to turn off your thinking brain and turn on your feeling brain. When you do, the emotion will probably feel like a wave. Do your best to just ride it out because what’s on the other side is a version of you who’s got your back. The you who can get some hard stuff done and be happy for herself.

3. Use itty-bitty actions to create momentum

Asking yourself, what’s the easiest thing I can do right now kind of sounds like a cop-out. 

It isn’t. 

It’s a way to create momentum and confidence when you’re feeling stuck. The famous life coach and author, Martha Beck calls these micro-movements “turtle steps” and they work because they wear down your psychological resistance. Instead of beating yourself up because you haven’t done squat to train for that 5K you want to run, go put on your running shoes. That’s it, just put your shoes on. Maybe go walk around the block.

When your barrier to success is minimal, your wins are easily achieved. Instead of a whole elephant, you only have to eat that one bite. Instead of exhaustion from the emotional smackdown you’ve been giving yourself for not getting “it” done, you have a genuine bounce in your step and a curiosity about what’s next. 

Bonus Step: Clear your energy and feel your Yes

Clearing your energy is vital. It’s how you get rid of those outside voices and influences and tune yourself into your truth. That’s a micro movement that packs a real punch. Try this super simple mantra and you’ve already taken a step towards feeling more like yourself!