I just heard the “self-care movement” described as patronizing.
The idea is that telling women to focus on self care is a way to blame them for feeling angry, depleted, and exhausted. It’s like saying, don’t worry about ongoing gender disparities, or the internalized guilt, shame, and self-doubt that our society layers on you at every turn.
No, no, no… you’ve just let too much time pass since your last spa day. Get yourself a good massage and you’ll get your smile back.
But, real self-care isn’t about a spa day.
Feeling whole, satisfied, and cared for doesn’t just happen. It requires active attention and intention. Heck, even feeling somewhat okay about yourself is an act of rebellion against the mainstream culture. It’s like we’ve all been handed a measuring stick and taught to use it to compare everything about ourselves against everyone else.
But, those measurements don’t matter. Who you are matters.
Your intuition is the still, quiet voice inside that gently guides you away from unhealthy comparisons, obsessive worrying, and relentless self-doubt. It knows the best parts of you and it knows the places where you struggle. It loves you exactly as you are.
When you turn up the volume of your own inner knowing, you start trusting yourself. Making decisions is easier. You have more compassion for yourself. You can do the big things you want to do, because you can let go of thousands of little things that have weighed you down.
Every small step you take to lean into your intuition helps clear your path. I’ve started posting Monday Mantra mini-meditations on my socials as a tool to help people start taking those tiny steps. Here’s my latest: I Listen, I Receive.
Self care is about more than a spa day